Pushing a child to stay gender-neutral isn’t appropriate. When the child expresses a gender, it’s important for the parents to accept that.
Children raised in this manner, like their peers, reach their own conclusion about their gender around the age of four. Although the child might face struggles with their gender as they grow older, being raised as a theybie likely won’t damage them. In fact, assigning a gender to your child and teaching them gender-coded lessons for the rest of their lives is far more coercive than what parents who raise theybies do. [3] X Research source
Toys should not be classified as boy or girl toys. If you raise your child as gender-neutral, this can have an impact on their psychological and physical development. Allow your child to play with a wide range of toys that are not labeled as toys for boys or girls. [5] X Research source
When shopping, wander between both blue and pink sections. Let the kid find clothes from both if they want.
“Some people have silly ideas about what boys and girls should be allowed to do. You might hear some of these ideas, but it doesn’t mean all of them are true. You can always ask me about it. " “That’s a good question. Yes, women can be doctors. When I get a check-up, I see Dr. Shawarma, and she is a great doctor. Did you hear that idea somewhere?” “I know your friend said all boys pee standing up, but that’s not quite true. Most of them do, but a few of them don’t. " “Sometimes TV pretends that girls can’t be strong like boys. But that’s not how it works in real life. Your grandma is a very strong woman. Hmm, what other girls are strong?”
As a parent, you should talk to your child about it. Explain that it’s good to know about how everyone is different and it helps us be good friends and neighbors. Let your child know that you are helping them to know about it because you want them to stay safe and healthy. If the kid is older, you can use newspaper stories, online stories, or give examples of family members to tell them about the results of their decisions. [10] X Research source
At some point, your kid may say “I’m a girl” or “I’m a boy. " You can ask a question like, “Would you like to be called a ‘she’ instead of a ’they’?” and then use the pronouns they like. Let them be as gender-nonconforming or gender-conforming as they like. The goal is not to push them into a role, but to let them find what makes them happy (even if it’s different from what you expected).
The goal is to let your kid do what they want regardless of gender stereotypes. They shouldn’t have to completely reject or embrace things that people of their gender are “supposed” to do.
Starting another conversation or changing the subject. Think of your child when responding to what they say. Don’t react at all–simply walk away or keep a straight face as they speak. Laugh it off. Tell them how you feel–just don’t judge their parenting style.
All children face difficulties as they grow older. If your child identifies as non-binary or LGBTQ, they may face additional challenges. Be sure to check in with your child — and be on the lookout for signs that they may require additional help. [17] X Research source
