An abstinence approach means you stop drinking completely. If you are motivated to reach this goal, go for it. If you find it impossible, get severe physical withdrawal symptoms, or end up in a cycle of abstinence and major relapses, consider switching to harm reduction. [1] X Research source A harm reduction approach means you set limits and practice safer drinking. If you are not willing or able to completely stop drinking right now, this is a good option. You may find it leads to safer, healthier habits that satisfy your goals; or you may use it as a “best possible” option for now. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source If you try this and find it impossible to stick to your limits once you start drinking, abstinence might be a better option.
If you plan to quit gradually, set yourself detailed milestones: “Instead of drinking every day, I will stay sober two days a week. Starting on __, I will stop drinking on weekdays. “[3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Leave as many reminders as you have to. Circle the date on your calendar, set an alarm on your phone, and or leave post-its around your home.
Reasons you want to quit could include feeling better physically and mentally; sleeping better; improving your health; feeling less shame, anxiety, or depression; avoiding arguments; having healthier relationships with other people; doing better at work; having more time and energy; being there for your family; or keeping your loved ones safe.
If you have any decorative bottles or alcohol signs, get rid of these too or put them in storage. They can also trigger your urges to drink.
Ask them to hide or lock up their alcohol, or at least not to leave open containers out. Ask them to drink outside the house, or to use opaque cups so you can’t see the booze. Ask them to avoid returning home drunk or hungover, or to let you know so you can spend that night at a friend’s. Explain that the early stages of quitting are a lot easier if you aren’t around these triggers. This is a temporary favor you’re asking, and it’s about you and your own recovery—not a judgement on them. [8] X Research source
The least supportive people are often the ones with their own drinking demons, who don’t want to question their own behavior. [10] X Research source Their comments aren’t really about you, and it’s not your job right now to deal with their issues. If your drinking buddy won’t stop pressuring you, think about what that relationship was actually about. Did you spend quality time with each other, or just enable each other’s drinking? Look at your list of reasons to quit—shouldn’t your friend want those things for you? Set down a firm rule if you have to: “I’ve asked you to stop offering me drinks, but you won’t stop. I’m not going to be around you until I get past this. "
First list external triggers: what objects, people, and places make you want to drink? What about times of day, or events? These can be general (“drunk people”) or specific (“my friend Andrew”). Next list internal triggers: what moods or emotions lead you to drink? What about physical sensations? Thinking about certain memories or topics? Pay attention to your urges for a couple weeks. Write down the time, place, and situation when they happen. Notice any patterns?
Social events with booze involved are a trigger for almost every recovering drinker. If you feel guilty turning down invitations or disappointed to lose out on part of your social life, remind yourself that this isn’t forever. Avoiding these triggers is most important early on, until the urges get weaker and you get better at handling them. [15] X Research source To stop people offering you drinks at an event, bring your own cup and keep it filled with a non-alcoholic drink. [16] X Research source
“I will take my list of reasons out of my wallet and read it to remind myself why I’m quitting. If I still have the urge when I’m done, I’ll take a walk around the block. " “Before going to an event that triggers me, I’ll ask a friend to keep their phone on. If I get an urge to drink, I’ll call that friend and talk through what I’m feeling. " “Since I can’t turn down this invitation, I’ll double-book an appointment for half an hour after the event starts, so I have an excuse to leave. "
Sit down in a relaxed position. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and pay attention to your body. Where in your body do you feel the craving? Focus on each area in turn—your mouth, your stomach, your hands, and so on. What does the craving feel like there? Keep moving your attention through your body, letting these feelings happen, until they disappear. If it helps, imagine the urge as an ocean wave you are riding. Feel it swell, then fall, then break apart.
For example, if you think “Just one drink can’t hurt,” stop and tell yourself “One drink absolutely can hurt. It can lead to a lot more drinks, and that’s the whole reason I need to change this. "
AA and other 12-step programs are often effective, including for many severely addicted people. They focus on complete abstinence, and tend to include some Christian references. [21] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Other mutual help groups don’t follow a strict step model, tend to be secular, and can be more focused to a specific group (such as women). Some of the largest include Women for Sobriety, LifeRing, and SMART. [22] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source A good support group makes you feel welcome and gives you space to vent, but also shares advice, tools, and perspectives to help your progress. It should be run by a qualified facilitator that protects everyone’s comfort and privacy. [23] X Research source If local groups don’t meet this standard, look into online meetings.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) helps teach you skills to handle your triggers and manage your stress. This can help you turn some of the ideas in this article into a more personalized, guided plan. Motivational enhancement therapy is a short-term treatment that focuses on strengthening your motivation and confidence, and carrying out your plan. Treatment for depression or anxiety is often useful for people who struggle with alcohol. [25] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Therapy with family members or partners can be more effective at ending drinking than individual therapy. Both alcohol abuse and the recovery process affect the people around you. Counseling can help you all support each other better.
You can also ask your doctor to connect you to other helpful resources, like therapists or support groups designed to help with what you’re going through.
You can still quit alcohol even if you get the worst symptoms. The safest way is to stay at a hospital or an alcohol treatment center until you’re through withdrawal, usually two to seven days. [28] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
