You have a reciprocal responsibility to provide the financial and material support your child needs to be housed, clothed, and fed. As the parent, you also have a moral responsibility to provide a safe and nurturing environment for your child. [1] X Research source You may need to research the law in your particular country. In the adoption process, the country you live in will determine what laws your situation falls under. The laws in England may be very different than in Kenya.
Guardianship can be a temporary solution while you establish the emotional and financial resources you need to be a parent. The court awards temporary custody to a family member or other agreed party. You retain your parental rights and contribute to the child’s financial support while the guardian handles the day-to-day job of child-raising. The guardianship can be dissolved by the court when you are fit and ready to be a parent. [3] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source Kinship adoption can be a permanent solution that keeps your child in the family and lets you maintain a relationship with her. Instead of a stranger, your child is adopted by the grandparents or other close relative. This type of voluntary in-family adoption can be handled by a private attorney in a very short time. Procedures, including home studies, are often less stringent or waived. Open adoptions allow the birth parents to interact with the child and adoptive family. In an open adoption, even though you surrender your legal rights, you can play a bigger part in choosing the adoptive family and express your wishes on how the child will be raised. An open adoption also lets your family have limited participation through letters, gifts, and even visits. The adoptive family must consent to an open adoption. [4] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source Traditional or closed adoption. In the traditional adoption, the birth parents have little to no input or contact with the adoptive family and the records are sealed. This type of adoption offers the most privacy and can give the birth parents a sense of closure and the ability to move on after making the difficult decision. [5] X Research source
Consider speaking to a counselor to talk about your emotions surrounding the decision. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to continue with therapy after you make your choice. Speak with other birth mothers to understand what a birth mother may experience post-placement. This will help you relax and find peace with your decision. If you have any questions or doubts about your parental rights and responsibilities, you should have a discussion with a family law attorney. In a court case where your child may be in foster care, you have the right to legal counsel. You can discuss the possibility of adoption with your lawyer. The process will go smoother and faster if the other parent consents. If it is practical and safe, you should discuss your decision with the other birth parent.
State law regulates adoption agencies. In order to be licensed, the agency must meet stringent requirements. The state will look at staff, training, programs, facilities, and insurance. [6] X Research source Professional associations, such as the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, and child welfare organizations maintain directories of licensed adoption agencies. [7] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source
Check the agency’s website. This will give you a snapshot of the agency’s operations. The site should include contact information, licensing information, professional accreditation, mission statement information, and information for both birth parents and adoptive parents. [8] X Research source Do an online search with the name of the agency and “review”, “scam”, and “complaint. " Read the reviews and testimonials carefully. A single complaint may not disqualify an agency, but a large number or similar complaints should be a warning. Contact a local parent or adoption support group. You can find groups through online searches, resources at your obstetrician’s office, or through a professional organization such as the North American Council on Adoptable Children. Groups can range from public and private forums to groups that hold physical meetings. Find a group that gives you the information you need and meets your level of comfort and privacy.
Verify licensing. Ask about the agency’s licensing and accreditation and that it is current. Ask about open and closed adoptions. You want an agency that is in line with your own wishes. Even in a closed adoption, information like family medical history will be available to the adoptive parents. After that, as much or little information can be shared by agreement of the parties. If it is important to you that your child be placed with a family of the same race or religion, now is the time to ask about the agency’s philosophies on the matter. Ask about financial support. No birth mother is allowed to “sell” her baby. However, state laws do provide for some financial support during the pregnancy and assistance with medical expenses. Laws vary with most states being “reasonable and customary” expenses. A few states put a dollar limit ranging from $1,000 to $5,000. [9] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source Ask about references and testimonials. While the agency cannot reveal private information, many parents will have consented to let the agency tell their stories. While the picture will be skewed toward the positive, it can give you an indication of the kind of families the agency works with. Ask about your right to revoke consent to the adoption. This can be as difficult a decision as choosing to put your child up for adoption. Most states have a very short window where you have a right to change your mind. Ask the agency if they have a set procedure for revocation. Laws are different in every state. [10] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source
If this is to be an open adoption, you may be allowed to look over profiles of adoptive families and choose those that match your hopes and expectations for your child. If you are pregnant, follow through with your medical care and doctor’s orders. Act in the best interest of your child.
The agency will try to get the other birth parent to consent or serve him or her with notice of the adoption hearing. Specifically, if a birth father wants to contest the adoption, he must acknowledge paternity, prove he has (or intended to) have a relationship with the child, and be prepared to provide support. He will have to have his own attorney and your interests will be represented by the agency’s attorney. Cooperate and provide any information that is requested.
Even if you have been working with an agency, you have a right to consult with an independent attorney before you sign the consent forms. Once you sign the consent forms, the decision is considered permanent unless you revoke during the very limited window or can prove your signature was obtained under fraud or duress.
The agency should have after-care programs, such as counseling to help you recover for the birth and the surrender of the child. If not, consider seeking independent counseling.
